I made a lot of mistakes in our relationship. I made a lot of mistakes in the aftermath of that relationship. I am a strong enough person to admit to that. I realize now that I was trying so hard to make you into someone that you're not, and that wasn't fair to you. You never gave me any illusions of the things you do and who you are, but like I sometimes do when I want something so bad, I sugarcoated it all in my mind. I think both of us wanted so badly for this to be right; to be the right relationship; the right person. I think individually we had both struggled to have faith and hope in love again. I had spent the 6 or so months before you thinking that all love ever does is break and end. I wanted to love you because you were so incredibly lovable. I wanted it all to be right. When I ended things with us, I was so sure of my decision. I was so positive I was making the right choice in letting you go because things didn't quite line up with us.
The mistake I made in the relationship was not being honest with you about that. I should have talked to you about it when I first felt that little feeling of doubt. I should have opened up about my reasoning behind my fears. The next mistake I made was thinking that I was important enough for you to fight to keep me. I needed reassurance that you did want me, that I was the girl you loved. I made the mistake that you could read my mind and would read into my text messages as me opening the door to the relationship back up. I should have just told you that I didn't actually want to be broken up, I just wanted you to fight for it. That I wanted you to realize all the potential I see in you and take it for yourself. My train of mistakes continued with unintentionally leading you on. I would text you randomly, believing that would convince you that I still wanted you, that I was thinking about you. Up until a few days ago, I didn't really know if I wanted that or not. When I did finally have that AHA! moment, I think it was that I wanted certain aspects of our relationship back. Then I made the mistake of getting angry at you for giving up on us, when I was the one who had given up on us 2 months ago.
You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with someone who will accept you for everything you are. You should be with someone who will fall in love with all of you, not just pieces. You also deserve to fall in love with someone that can let you love them. I wasn't capable of that because I wasn't ever really sure. You deserve someone who is sure of you, of your relationship. I did love you, please don't think that I didn't or that I don't now. It just wasn't in the way we both wanted me to love you. But I know now that I made the right choice for us back in September. I should have let you go when I said goodbye. So I'm saying it again now, and I promise I'm letting go. Honestly I wish you the best and I'm sorry.
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