Love often feels like a game we need to win. It's an especially difficult game to play when the person you love is always changing the rules, when this person is cold and pushes you away. I was there not that long ago. Sometimes, when I'm alone or there's a moment of quiet in my world, I'm right back there, in love with S and trying so hard to get him love me too. He is the permanent scar on my resume of relationships. He will forever be the one that hurt me most. He will be the tainted stain that stops me from letting myself love the good ones. Love often is a game we lose. But I can tell you one thing, it's not any more fun or any less hurtful being on the sidelines, waiting for your chance to jump in.
I will never claim to have all the answers because I am still learning and still growing. But I think what makes me a good source and a good shoulder to cry on is that I'm honest and truthful about my past. I know I've made mistakes and I've given chances to people who don't deserve them and didn't give second chances to those who were more than deserving. Love requires honesty, openness, and the ability to jump knowing a soft landing is never guaranteed. Happy playing ladies and gents. But remember, be honest. Be good to people.
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