Growing up sometimes sucks.

As a big sister, I always seem to have to be on my game. I'm the first to do many things and I have to leave a good example. I don't mind being a role model, it's actually incredibly humbling and has made me a better person because I have to think about the consequences of my actions and how they might affect my siblings. But there are some days when being the voice of reason, being the "big sis" is incredibly difficult. Tonight, my little brother's heart was totally shattered. I had to push my opinion of the cold-hearted bitch that left him in pieces to myself and put on my big sister pants. The hardest part of getting a younger sibling through a difficult time is that it makes me relive the time when I was exactly in the same position. Talking to my brother and reassuring him that it goes up from here brought back very vividly the time when I was at my lowest. I know exactly how he feels. He's betrayed, broken, and feeling like he's never going to get over this and utterly alone. Like many of us, we don't always see the whole picture as it's all unfolding. It took me some time to realize that the way I was treated in the particular relationship that broke me that what I was getting was not love. Sometimes it looked like love, sometimes it even felt like love. But someone who loves another person doesn't deliberately do things to hurt you. They don't lie, cheat, or disrespect you. They don't give up on you and they sure as hell don't leave when it gets rough. 

It's hard for him to see around this. I understand that. But I am walking proof that life goes on. I am the prime example that love exists after something like that. And it's REAL love and it makes you happy, it feels good and its not so damn hard. I have been so incredibly fortunate to meet someone who is everything I always wanted but never thought I would have. He is respectful of my values, boundaries and space. He's open, honest and one of the best people I've ever met. As a sister, I want that for all my siblings. I want them to have healthy, happy relationships and I am finally at a place in my life where I feel like they can look up at me for it. I hope that I said the right things. I know that it takes time to heal and I will be there for him every step of the way.