Sometimes, it just doesn't go away. People say that eventually the hole in your heart closes and you start to feel like a whole person again. Eventually the emptiness fades and you move on with you life. Someone lied to me. Because I start to think I'm okay then it hits me like a fucking freight train. I miss him. I miss all the things I loved about him, even the things I hated about him. It really just goes to show you that when you are in love with someone, really in love with him, you love him regardless of flaws. You love him at his worst, love him at his best. That's the way it goes. I'm trying to move on with my life. I'm trying to forget about him. But it's hard. It's unnerving that I could bump into him anywhere, at any time. And I have to accept that when I do, he might treat me like I never even mattered. That shatters me because I can't do the same. I loved him. I gave him 2 years of my life. It's not something I can shrug off. I don't know what the future holds, but I hope whatever comes next hurries up and gets here.