“The (500) Days of Summer attitude of “He wants you so bad” seems attractive to some women and men, especially younger ones, but I would encourage anyone who has a crush on my character to watch it again and examine how selfish he is. He develops a mildly delusional obsession over a girl onto whom he projects all these fantasies. He thinks she’ll give his life meaning because he doesn’t care about much else going on in his life. A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them. That’s not healthy. That’s falling in love with the idea of a person, not the actual person.” -Joseph Gordon Levitt

This is exactly what I'm talking about. I don't want someone that needs me in his life, just someone who wants me there. I'm the type of girl who likes having her own interests, her own life separate from her relationship. I never want to turn into one of those girls who abandons her friends and the things that she enjoys doing because she has a boyfriend. I hate feeling smothered. I have never needed someone before, not in the way that is so consuming. I have been in that place where I wanted the guy in my life, I wanted to share everything with him and I knew it then, like I know it now, that I would be okay without him. I was completely in love with Steven, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I wanted everything with him: making dinner on Sundays, sitting on the porch of the house we decorated and painted together, chasing our kids around the yard, date nights on Saturdays, arguing over bills and decisions about our family, talking about our days before we fell asleep. I was heartbroken when I realized that those things were not going to happen, that the happily ever after I envisioned with this person was just an illusion.

But it's life and sometimes it really sucks. Sometimes you have to make choices that are very difficult but you know are the right choices in the end. Breaking up with Jared was one of the hardest things I had to do because he was so sweet and caring and warm, but he wasn't the right guy. At this point in my life, it's important that things feel right. I don't want to waste his time, or mine, in a relationship that always feels a little off.