You deserve love.

I've been trying for 8 months now to put into words exactly how I feel. Because mostly, I've been lost. Not the kind of lost when you look at a girl and you think, "Oh, poor thing, she looks so forlorn". No, I keep it together pretty well.  It's the kind of lost when you've lost the most important person in your world. It's the hole that forms in your heart that can't seem to fill back up. And it grows, deeper and darker. You start to torture yourself thinking about how he's going to love someone else, how he's going to forget you and replace you, how it couldn't have possibly meant as much to him as it did you because he let you go. These are the thoughts that taunt you late at night because you can't sleep without him. You can barely function-except that you have to because you can't lose everything. Even though it feels like you already have. There aren't any words that help. All you find yourself doing is listening to Adele on repeat and scouring Tumblr for appropriate quotes. This isn't a life. This isn't an existence. Everyone tells you that you deserved better, and there are days when you really know that's true. 

But I am telling you the truth. You deserve love. Big, stupid, crazy love. The kind of love that mixes you up and makes you feel dizzy and sick (a good sick). You deserve cute text messages and middle of the day phone calls. You deserve someone who respects you and your space, your needs and your passions. You deserve to be with someone who wants to make your life better, not harder. Someone who wants to make you better and be better because of you. You deserve someone who will do everything in his power to not lose you. You deserve a guy who will fight to keep you around when you aren't as sure about the relationship as you once were. These are things you deserve. These are things you should be thinking about late at night when you are feeling lonely. Please remember this. You deserve love. Even if you don't think so.